Day 31 (2008-07-31): A goal, a game

Today I was feeling down and unmotivated. Getting irritated with myself I said, “What is going on?”

And in a moment of clarity, I realized that I don’t have a concrete, short-term goal that I’m working on. I have this amorphous, foggy sense of wanting to grow my business and serve more people. But where are the details that get me juiced up and psyched?

I learned from my coach and colleague Stefan Doering the value of defining my goal as a GAME. Why? You WORK toward a goal, but you PLAY a game. A game is something you play to win, yes. AND you play to have fun. If there is no fun, it’s no longer playing.

There is not much practical difference between setting a goal and creating a game. You have outcomes you want to achieve, and a plan to do so. The main difference is in how it FEELS.

So here is my idea for a 90-day game, hot off the presses of my imagination: Write my book and announce it to my list of 2000 ezine subscribers.

For those of you paying attention, there are two targets in that goal:

1. Writing my book in 90 days
2. Building my list of ezine subscribers to 2000

Lofty objectives, both. I feel fear. But is it any different than the fear I felt last night as I stepped onstage for the first time in about 15 years and performed a song on my guitar? No, and I did just fine. 🙂

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Day 30 (2008-07-30): I don't wanna!

Today I’m feeling a whole bunch of “I don’t wanna!”

I had two very productive days. Do I think I “deserve” a break? Is that it? Not entirely, there’s something else.

I have a deadline today in that I will be headed out for the evening at about 4:30 PM or so. I’m feeling pressure from that deadline, and a skepticism that I’ll get done all I want to do before then. So why bother?

And it’s more complicated than that because these are not tasks I “want” to do, but tasks I feel I “should” do.

So all three of these factors — “deserving” a break, not believing I can accomplish my tasks, and feeling the “should” judgment about them — combine into a big, fat “I DON’T WANNA!”

Okay, so I’m going to do some physical exercise for about 10 minutes and see how my state of being changes…

Well, I have more energy! My attitude is a bit better. I’m psyched up for getting some stuff done. But I’m not too attracted to the idea of sitting at my computer. I rather go outside and dig some holes or move some heavy boxes. 🙂

I am aware that the “I don’t wanna!” feeling has dissipated. So what I’ll do is whenever I feel that feeling, I’ll drop to the floor and do some push-ups. And I’ll report back on how well that works.

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Day 29 (2008-07-29): Integrity Day, Part 5

I’m in the middle of an Integrity Day right now, and I learned something important about myself and my relationship to time last hour:

When things don’t go according to my plan (especially when they are small, relatively inconsequential things that cause big delays), I get angry and resentful at the universe. I personalize the delay as if someone or something has it in for me.

Sounds silly in the light of day, yes. In the dark recesses of my consciousness, it runs the show.

So when the anger builds, I know what to do. It’s the same thing I do when someone cuts me off in traffic. I yell, “Roar!”

The energy is expelled, and in its place is silliness, which brings a smile to my face.

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Day 28 (2008-07-28): New system

So I came up with a new system for managing my contacts, appointments, tasks, and projects.

I identified 5 different tools I was using:

1. Spreadsheet to manage my follow-up calls
2. Microsoft Entourage for my emails
3. Now Up-to-Date calendar for my appointments
4. Now Contact for my contacts
5. Aweber for my mailing lists

I went through each tool, describing the functions of that tool. And what I noticed was LOTS of overlap and duplication from tool to tool. So I looked at each function and chose the tool that handled that function the best (for me), and eliminated the duplication.

Today I converted this week’s “stuff” to my new system so that I can begin using it. And I had an incredibly productive day. That could be due in part to my excitement about the new system. There were some feelings of anxiety about the change — wondering if I’m actually making things better. But I think once I become used to the new way, I’ll see a clear positive shift in my energy.

What needs to be done:

• Converting future events to the new system
• Creating records for contacts in my spreadsheet and email that are not in my contact manager
• Choosing where to track my business metrics that are currently in the spreadsheet

My intention is to be at least 90% converted by the end of the week.

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Day 23 (2008-07-23): Breaking my pattern with my call sheet

I have this spreadsheet I use as a call sheet for all of my clients and prospects. It allows me to know very quickly when to follow up with who, and why. It’s a great tool, yet my energy around it is often negative.

I reflected on this a bit yesterday and today, and I believe it has to do with conditioning. Over the past few years of using it, I’ve often felt like I was “behind” on my follow up calls on the spreadsheet. For any given day, I would have several calls that did not get made or emails that did not get sent, and they would build up as a backlog. So I typically related to that list as if I was playing catch-up with it. And over time, I’ve conditioned myself to feel negative (stress, resentment, overwhelmed, etc.) when I think about or use that list.

Today I will come up with a plan to break that conditioning. To somehow radically change how I relate to that list. To make structural changes to how I use it that work better for me. Possibly even get rid of it and replace it with another solution (yikes!). This may not be completed today, and it may take several tries before I find something that works better. But I’m committed to breaking the current pattern, whatever it takes.

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Day 22 (2008-07-22): Integrity Day, Part 4

Today I did another Integrity Day and here’s what I learned:

1. My tendency is to get very rigid about my plans. For example, at the beginning of the 4 hours, I planned out what I wanted to do. As I worked that plan, I discovered additional tasks that needed to be done but weren’t a part of the original plan. I felt resentment towards those new tasks but they put me “behind schedule.”
2. I skipped my meditation in the morning because I felt like I didn’t have time. But when I noticed my resentment and resistance during the first half of Integrity Day, I decided to sit quietly for five minutes and center myself. That’s when I had my awareness about how I was relating to my plan (#1 above). And I experienced a shift that gave the second half of Integrity Day a completely different feel than the first half. And all it took was five minutes.
3. At the end of Integrity Day, I came up with the idea to sketch out my plan in more detail next time. When the plan lives in my head, it seems very clear cut and simple. When I bring it out of my head through the doing of it, that’s when the subtleties and unexpected details appear. Many of those things can be anticipated by getting the plan out of my head and onto paper before I even begin. Couple that with a flexibility that comes from feeling centered, and I think I have a recipe for Integrity Day bliss.  🙂

I will do this for my next Integrity Day on Monday.

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Day 21 (2008-07-21): Power

How funny that I realized last week just how important it was for me to have a productive Monday…

Today the power went out and is not due to be repaired until 10 PM tonight. So I spent the morning cleaning up and going through some piles of paperwork. But it amazes me how dependent I am on electricity to feel productive. Or to say it another way, the types of tasks I judge as productive tend to require electricity.

This brought into focus the idea of life harmony, and how do I see the different parts of my life as being integrated or not.

(Some background: Lots of people talk about life balance but I find the word “balance” can be disempowering in that it implies a single precarious point, a static state of balance, which can be disrupted easily. I emphasize “life harmony” in the work that I do with my clients because harmony is synergistic and allows for change and flow.)

So what I did was intentionally view my life as a whole, not competing pieces. Big deal if I could not make phone calls or work on my computer. There are other parts of my life that integrate with those things, and today is an opportunity to focus on those.

So there are two lessons/insights for me:

1. I can expand my sense of what “productivity” means by looking to intangibles like my relationships and my feelings. For example, visiting with a friend is productive; meditating to quiet my mind and cultivate peace is productive.
2. I easily lose sight of how the different parts of my life are connected, but I can get that perspective back pretty easily, too. And when I do see my life as a harmony of interconnected parts, I feel more peaceful and more productive.

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Day 20 (2008-07-20): Dear Universe

Dear Universe,

I invite you in all of your varied forms to send me:

• Opportunities to serve the world in the way that creates the most value for as many people as possible in the way that they want it.
• Wisdom to perceive these opportunities when I create and encounter them, and wisdom to identify my role in how best to serve.
• Resources, both internally and externally, to take action for the highest and best good of everyone and everything involved (including myself).

This is an open invitation, and I let go of attachment to and expectations of what I think this will or won’t look like.

Peace & Passion,
Curtis
——–
Curtis G. Schmitt
Turn On to Life! Coach
203-659-6636 | 610-696-3731
http://www.TurnOnToLife.com

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Day 19 (2008-07-19): Reflections and rituals

Today I was reflecting on the fact that for over a year an a half, I’ve been successfully making a living from my own business. I pay my bills, I save, I invest, I donate to charity, I have play money, I travel, etc.

I focus so much on growth, I forget what an accomplishment this is. And it’s easy for me to get myopic and think that things are not going well if my business isn’t growing.

I am seeing a real opportunity to control my focus and create a more positive experience of life. In the next few days and weeks, I intend to add two new rituals to my life:

1. I will reaffirm an acknowledgment practice I started a few years ago and stopped. Specifically, I will document my success, big and small.
2. I will being a list of “Evidence of Joy” in my life. On this list I will capture as many moments of joy as I am conscious of experiencing.

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Day 18 (2008-07-18): Monday and Friday

Today I was feeling down. I didn’t really notice until towards the end of the day. Kind of like a sadness, a low energy, a “who cares?” attitude.

It was a long week, I didn’t sleep well on any given night, so I was tired. And I think there was some grieving energy that needed to be released, too. There have been some changes in my life recently, and I think there’s still some letting go that is happening.

Also, I realized this week how important my Mondays and Fridays are to me. I tend to group my coaching calls with clients on Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays. This gives me Monday and Friday to work on project-type work that requires bigger chunks of time and focus. What I realized this week (because I was traveling on Monday) is how important both days are to my energy and feeling of momentum.

A productive Monday starts my week off strong. I feel good going into Tuesday knowing that I’ve accomplished so many important things already. And a productive Friday closes my week off strong. I feel good taking the weekend off for rest and rejuvenation.

This week, I didn’t have my productive Monday and instead of accepting that and being present to that reality, I resisted and tried to squeeze in my Monday all week long. So although it was a tough week, I’m happy I’m now conscious of all of this. Now I can set up boundaries (for myself and others) to protect Mondays and Fridays; and I can adjust my expectations and intentions in weeks when Monday or Friday isn’t available to me for project work.

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Day 17 (2008-07-17): What to do about obligations

This morning I’m noticing a pull inside me between what I want to do today and what I feel I “have to” do.

Why does something feel like an obligation, a “have to”? What creates that feeling in me? Here’s what I notice:

First, there’s a prediction that there’s no joy in what I’m about to do. To me, this illustrates a lack of presence in what I’m doing. When I’m present in what I’m doing, there tends to be joy. And when there’s joy in what I’m doing, I tend to be present. When an action is all about some future result and I lose the present, it feels like a “have to” do something I don’t want to do in order to get a result that I want.

Second, there’s a lack of a feeling of enrollment or investment in the result of what I’m about to do. Sometimes it’s that I don’t believe I will get a result I want and value (“this’ll never work”). Other times it’s that I simply don’t value the result enough to warrant the effort (“why do I have to go through all this just to get that?”).

Third, there’s a perspective that I didn’t choose what I’m about to do. This can be an explicit feeling that someone else is “forcing” me to do it. They’ve ordered or asked me to do something, and I feel like I can’t say no. Or it can be an internal judgment that’s “forcing” me to do something. For example, it’s the right thing to do or it’s what experts tell me I should do.

It seems pretty straight-forward then that the way to turn a “have to” into a “want to” is to make it more enjoyable by being present in the doing, focus on why the results are important to me, and fully own my choice to do it. I will play with this recipe today.

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Day 16 (2008-07-16): Clocking out

Today I discussed with a client the importance of “clocking out.” How there is a freedom in defining a clear boundary for personal time.

Clocking out can be literal, i.e. when you clock out from work at the end of the day. Or it can be figurative, especially for people like myself who are self-employed and set their own hours.

This is something I’ve been experiencing in these 100 Days of Peaceful Productivity. When I schedule a time to “clock out” for the day, I notice two things:

1. After I clock out, I feel free to relax. There are less feelings of “I should be doing this” and I can be present in whatever it is I am doing. There is no guilt about not working.
2. I’m actually more productive during the day before I clock out than I am on days I do not set a time to clock out. When I know that I will have “me time” at the end of the day, I can be fully present in the work that I am doing. There’s less procrastination, less getting distracted.

And I’ve actually noticed a third important effect. It almost doesn’t matter when I clock out. It could be 5 PM or 9 PM. The power for me is in the setting of the boundary. Knowing that there is a time dedicated to rest and rejuvenation. Taking myself seriously enough. It’s self-respect, self-love.

I intend to set a clock out time each day during the remainder of these 100 Days.

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Day 15 (2008-07-15): Integrity Day, Part 3

I did another Integrity Day today, and it was quite different. I’ve done dozens of Integrity Days over the years, and this was the first time I felt so relaxed and chilled out.

There was a deep trust that what I intended to do would get done. I’ve been reflecting on this all day, and I think a big part of it was a kind of letting go. I think I let go of my picture of how and when the tasks would get done. In it’s place was a calm knowing that they would get done.

I’m not sure how this shift happened, and I’ll be paying attention to my “chill factor” in future Integrity Days.

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Day 10 (2008-07-10): Productivity is more

Last night I was reflecting on the events of the day and I thought about two particularly powerful coaching calls I had with clients. And I realized that productivity is more than just completing tasks, more than just checking off items on a list.

I’d made a huge difference in the lives of two people. Up until last night, I’d never really thought of that as productivity. But productivity is about achieving your intended results, as I teach in my teleclass. Making a difference in people’s lives is one of my clearest intentions.

It’s opened a whole new arena of exploration for me in these 100 Days…

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Day 9 (2008-07-09): My time, my time, mine, mine, MINE!

Last night I did not want to go to bed. I resisted as long as I could. Finally, I asked myself out of frustration, “What the heck is going on here?”

The answer was a juicy one…

I realized that going to bed means to me that the day is over and it’s time to work. Sure, there’s the big span of time when I’m sleeping, but I’m not conscious for that. And yes, there’s some time in the morning before I sit down to work, but I fill that time with rituals that can feel work-like, i.e. I “have to” do them. Or I “should” do them.

So there’s two major unconscious (now conscious) beliefs there:

1. Going to bed equals the end of MY time.
2. I have to do my morning rituals because that’s the right thing to do.

Clearly, both based on flawed perceptions.

The first assumes that my work time is not MY time. There’s a powerless feeling in that. If not my time, then whose? The second assumes that there’s a right and a wrong. There’s a judgment in that.

In both cases, the shift will be in taking more responsibility for my choices and owning my work time. And cultivating more passion and joy in my work and my rituals. And the good news is that each day at bedtime I will have another opportunity to confront these limiting beliefs. Hurray for me! 🙂

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Day 8 (2008-07-08): Passion and productivity

Today I intend to explore passion in the context of productivity. Passion is one half of my personal philosophy on life; the other is peace (I sign all my emails “Peace & Passion”). I feel like I know the peace piece (how funny) very well. The passion piece eludes me some.

It will be interesting today because I have lots of emails to send, and email is something that I do not intrinsically enjoy. How will I cultivate passion in that task? Hopefully I will have amazing insights to share. 🙂

Some of the things I will do:

• Turn on music
• Move my body (stretching, dancing, shaking my butt)
• Smile
• Power move and affirmations

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Day 7 (2008-07-07): Integrity Day, Part 2

I did another Integrity Day today and two more big pieces of the Peaceful Productivity puzzle fell into place (nice alliteration!):

Context — When I’m working on a complex project with lots of parts and I don’t have a sense of the context I’m working in, I tend to experience strong ups and downs. For example, I was working on my website which has all kinds of inter-connections (links, payment gateways, confirmation pages, autoresponders, etc.), and on each Integrity Day check-in call, I thought I was an hour away from finishing. My mood would shoot up. But within the hour, I would discover another inter-connected piece that I’d forgotten about that needed work. And my mood would drop. This repeated several times.

If I’d had, let’s say, a visual map of the website and all of the pieces, I would have had a better sense of context — what I was working on and how it fit. Even if I forgot a piece, I could have added it to the map as soon as I discovered it. It would have given me an overview that I believe would have smoothed out the ups and downs.

So, there’s an upside to diving right into a project (energy and momentum), but it’s also helpful to know the size of the pool.

I was too focused on the finish line — I also noticed a tendency I have of focusing too much on the finish line. The emotional ups and downs were the result of seeing the finish line very close and then realizing it was far away again. Call that yo-yo vision.

Ignoring the finish line is not the answer because it’s too easy to go astray. It’s important to harmonize what I’m doing now with where I’m headed. I think passion is a part of the answer (passion being something you feel about what you’re doing NOW). I intend to explore passion proactively in these 100 Days.

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Day 6 (2008-07-06): Productivity backfires

Today I was very productive and I noticed an interesting consequence: The closer I got to my target the more urgent it felt.

I desperately wanted to complete what I was working on. And as the day went on and I saw that I probably wasn’t going to complete it, I felt like I’d failed.

It’s like the productivity imploded upon itself. So one of the things I will be observing is how this happens inside of me. How does productivity itself backfire and where is the opening for peace here?

The answer in a general sense seems obvious — be present to what is, and accept it. The inquiry is more around what does that look like for me in the various settings in which I’m productive.

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Day 5 (2008-07-05): Integrity Day

I did an Integrity Day today with a client and had two important insights:

1. When I begin working on something (and stop putting it off), it’s always easier than I thought it would be. Being in the moment with what I’m doing is much more peaceful and less stressful than thinking about what I “should” or could be doing. This seems obvious when I write it like that, but having the experience of it never fails to amaze me.

2. The structure of Integrity Day — checking in by phone each hour — really supports my forward momentum. When I declare “I intend to accomplish X in the next hour” and then don’t, I must express verbally to other people where I’m at, what tripped me up, etc. It makes my progress (or lack of it) public, and keeps me from losing sight of where I am and where my target is. And it gives me the opportunity to publicly reaffirm my intention.

And a third insight:

Integrity Day focuses my attention on my productivity, and with that attention there is always something I learn about myself and my relationship to productivity. In other words, Integrity Day helps raise my awareness of how productive I am and why.

I have a feeling that Integrity Days will be a big part of these 100 Days of Peaceful Productivity.

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Day 4 (2008-07-04): Authenticity, Part 2

Today I was more intentionally authentic in my interactions with people.

The dynamics were simplified (fewer people, fewer activities), and I think that helped. I felt more comfortable and natural, and I enjoyed myself more.

Interesting that I used the expression “enjoyed myself” because I feel like that’s accurate. Yes, I enjoyed the people and activities. But the difference between today and yesterday was most definitely related to how much more I enjoyed me.

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Day 3 (2008-07-03): Authenticity

Years ago when I was in a depression, I thought I didn’t like myself. Tonight I was feeling a similar feeling and realized that it’s not that I don’t like myself, it’s that I don’t like who I pretend to be sometimes.

How is this related to productivity?

One of the things I teach in my time management teleclass is the importance of intention. That is, to be productive, you must first know the result you want to produce with any given action you undertake.

When I am interacting with people, authenticity is very important to me. How often, though, do I go into those interactions with a clear intention to be authentic? And when I don’t hold that intention, I easily slip into pretense.

This is an unexpected side of exploring peaceful productivity, and very exciting to me.

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Day 2 (2008-07-02): Working 9 to 5

Relying on the 9 to 5 work-day structure was effective for me today. The first thing I realized is that 8 hours is not a lot of time. Throw in a couple of appointments, some phone calls, a lunch hour…that doesn’t leave much time for project-related work.

Makes the issue of boundaries that much more important. Boundaries is something I will be exploring in depth.

The second thing I realized is that I really, REALLY like clocking out and going to do something social. Today I played tennis. And it was guilt-free, in part because I knew I worked pretty consistently up until that point.

The third thing I realized is that my personal morning rituals actually take some time. Things like meditation and exercise are rituals I don’t like to rush. Completing them in time to sit down to work at 9 means being disciplined about getting up by a certain time. Which for me means being disciplined about getting to sleep by a certain time the night before (it’s almost midnight as I write this, so you can see that I will need to focus some attention in this area, too).

And in the spirit of full disclosure, I didn’t totally clock out at 5. I started working again at around 10 tonight. Important work that I’m happy I gave more time to. It was a conscious choice I made. And again, I could make it happily because I did take time to have some fun after 5. A nice harmony.

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Day 1 (2008-07-01): Peaceful Productivity

My new 100 days will explore peaceful productivity. Some ideas and insights, in no particular order:

• I don’t think I actually clock very many productive work hours in a given day. I’d like to measure and track this.
• I didn’t think I was, but I’m starting to notice that I’m a total sleaze when it comes to setting boundaries with people (to “protect” my time). I’m slightly less sleazy when it comes to setting boundaries with myself.
• I tend to achieve productivity more effectively from fear (deadlines, etc.) than from inspiration.
• I can create a powerful synergy when working with other people (we feed on each other’s energy).

Tomorrow, I’m going to play with the structure of working a 9-to-5 day to see what I can accomplish and how it feels. I typically “work” from when I get up to when I go to sleep, though it’s broken up with non-work stuff interspersed. I’d like to experience a contrast to see what I learn from it.

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