100 Days of Peace

Day 34: Listening to my body

Curtis — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 04:00:25 +0000

Today was an unscheduled rest day. I could feel that my legs needed some time off, especially since I planned to attend yoga asana class tonight. And did I make the right choice! Class was heavy on legs and my thighs felt a little weak at times. If I’d done squat jumps today I would have been useless. This was a good lesson in listening to my body.

My mood was much better today. I even felt like being goofy at times. That teleseminar class I took last night was so good for me.

Day 33: Mastering my own psychology

Curtis — Thu, 26 Jan 2012 03:48:53 +0000

Today was very challenging emotionally. What the heck is it with Wednesdays? I was especially down on myself today. The negative self-talk was excessive. Tonight’s class on teleseminars covered mindset, and that was very helpful as a reminder of the importance of being more intentional with my thoughts. The most important thing I can do in my life is commit to a practice of mastering my own psychology.

I completed Workout E today, all 7 recommended sets of 10 lunges and 10 burpees. Workouts completed so far are B, E, F, and G. A and C will be the hardest because they include 8 sets of 25 pushups and I’ve only been able to do 4 so far.

Day 32: Attitude

Curtis — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 04:10:27 +0000

Workout D is squat jumps, 30-second sets separated by 30 seconds of rest. I beat last week’s total (up 9%), an increase from 7 to 8 sets, which I was very cool with until I noticed Workout F from a few days ago. I did 10 sets of squat jumps for a total of 165 (today I did 128). I don’t know how I did that! Now that I think about it, I can recall feeling unstoppable during that workout. Sometimes it amazes me just how important attitude is in these workouts.

Day 31: Bad mood

Curtis — Tue, 24 Jan 2012 03:43:30 +0000

I took a rest day today, bumping Workout D to tomorrow (my scheduled rest day). I was in a pretty neutral mood all morning, and then got into a bad mood this afternoon. I was in the headspace of “life is hard enough, I don’t want to struggle through a workout right now.”

The irony is that a part of me knows the workout would have changed my mood. I always feel better afterwards.

Today is day 31, technically the last day in this first round of the 31-day workout routine I’m doing. As I stated a few days ago, I’m going to stick with it, my intention being to max out the recommended sets for all of the exercises before I move on to the next routine.

I feel like I should say something meaningful given that it’s day 31. Hm. Nope. Nuthin’.

Day 30: A reason to be fit

Curtis — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 03:29:22 +0000

I kicked butt today on Workout C. I did 6 sets each of lunges and pushups, up from 4 last time. I saw a 50% increase in lunges, and a 61% increase in pushups (though it was a 19% increase from Workout A two days ago, which is a very similarly structured workout).

I also went sledding with my nieces today. I don’t always think about it, but part of the reason I like being fit is so that I can have the energy for these kinds of meaningful family moments.

Day 29: Self-worth

Curtis — Sun, 22 Jan 2012 03:55:48 +0000

I got a massage today, my first of what may become a weekly thing. It felt good physically, and I’m eager to see if consistent massage will help with the pain I’ve been experiencing in my left shoulder.

And it also felt good emotionally. It brought up some issues about self-worth that I was able to momentarily resolve so that I could truly enjoy receiving such intentional and caring touch, and I’m also eager to see how weekly massages might help me get more comfortable with the feeling that I’m worthy and deserving.

For exercise, today was Workout B, B for burpees (30-second sets of burpees separated by 30 seconds of rest). I did the full 12 sets, up from 10 last time for a 19% increase.

Day 28: Rebellion and Russians

Curtis — Sat, 21 Jan 2012 04:41:11 +0000

Since Wednesday night I’d been struggling with the question of whether or not I was going to go see a late night screening of The Big Lebowski tonight and drink the complimentary White Russian that comes with my ticket. I finally decided I would. I concluded (or rationalized) that it was a part of the experience and why even go if I wasn’t going to have the full experience.

So off I went at 9:15 to get there when the doors opened at 9:30 for the pre-show party and complimentary White Russian. I get there at 9:29 to find things in full swing and I’m told they’ve already given away their full allotment of 75 free drinks. What??? I’m there before the doors are supposed to open and I missed my free drink?

I was pissed! I even thought of saying something to the manager. Fortunately, not 20 seconds passed before I became aware of just how attached I’d gotten to the idea of drinking that drink. I’d planned to break the rules of my 100 Days of Fitness, I’d been foiled in that attempt, and I was angry. Man, we are silly creatures sometimes, aren’t we?

In retrospect, I’m happy that things happened as they did. I was able to recognize that there’s a part of me that likes to rebel against restrictions. Knowing that can only help me make clearer and more powerful choices.

Regarding exercise, today was my third time with Workout A. I increased from 4 sets to 5 sets, again maxing out the squats at 25 for each set, and this time maxing out 4 sets of pushups instead of 2 for a 53% increase.

Day 27: Releasing identities and worry

Curtis — Fri, 20 Jan 2012 02:25:58 +0000

Today was amazing. I began the day feeling pretty down on myself until about mid-day when I read Susan Piver’s blog post about meditation which reminded me of the whole perspective of letting go of an agenda for meditation.

To simply be present to my experience without labeling it or judging it.

It reminded me of something Adyashanti says about letting go of the meditator as an identity and to stop judging how good I am at meditation.

So I meditated for 20 minutes and released all identities as I became aware of them. “I don’t need to be a meditator right now. I don’t need to be a coach right now. I don’t need to be a friend right now. I don’t need to be a cat owner right now.” It was so liberating.

I’ve spent the rest of the day going about my business and becoming aware of how I’m trying to present myself to people (in other words, the identity I’m “wearing” in any given moment), and then releasing it to discover what’s there when I just let life be as it is. It’s such a pleasant way to experience life! I find myself smiling a lot.

I think this is related to the worry I’ve talked about in previous posts. I think when we put on identities, it can be very easy to then worry about how well we’re living up to them. The purpose of meditation is not to create another identity that I can then worry about. Meditation is a time for me to let go of all of those “jobs” (because maintaining an identity can sure start to feel like a job sometimes, can’t it?) and clock out (as opposed to checking out or spacing out) and just be with whatever my present experience is.

This awareness of my emotional eating patterns has led to an awareness of worry, which has led to an awareness of the different identities I assume and how much stress that causes me.

And it seems I’ve now found where meditation fits into my 100 Days of Fitness!

Day 26: Free booze

Curtis — Thu, 19 Jan 2012 02:26:39 +0000

Workout G kicked my butt. I’m so dead by the time I even get to the pushups, I’m surprised I can do any at all. I think I did about 23 before I had to drop to my knees, and even then I had to cheat on the final ones in each set. I saw a 6% increase in squats, a 3% decrease in burpees (I did one less than last time), and an 18% increase in pushups.

I found out that at Friday’s screening of The Big Lebowski at the Colonial Theater, they’ll be giving each ticket holder a complimentary White Russian. And I’ve been searching my brain for a way to rationalize the choice to drink it. What is the appeal of free booze?? It’s insane. Well, this is a choice I don’t need to make now so I won’t stress about it. I’m not even sure I’m going yet, so it might be irrelevant.

Day 25: A matter of life and fear

Curtis — Wed, 18 Jan 2012 03:52:18 +0000

I had an energy healing session tonight at the Golden Angels Holistic Center, and right as the session began I was asked what my intention was. I said, “To let go of worry.” I was then asked to elaborate on what I feel in its place when I let go of worry, and I responded, “That’s what I’d like to find out.”

And I did. I felt…alive. Yes, there were waves of joy and happiness and peace and gratitude, and all kinds of good feelings. But the most powerful thing I felt was a deep sense of being alive, vibrantly alive. Most of the thoughts and memories that passed through my mind were positive ones; but even the “negative” ones had no charge to them. In fact, I was amused by how easily I’ve gotten upset in the past.

So my big insight today is this: Life is what I experience when I stop worrying. My choice in any given moment is between life and fear.

Regarding exercise: Workout F consisted of as many squat jumps as I could do in 10 minutes. My total was 165, up 8% from last time and 42% from the first time.

And I’ve decided that when I finish the 31-day Beginner Home Routine, I’m going to stick with it until I max out each workout in the series. So if some workout calls for 4-8 sets, I’ll keep with it until I can do the full 8 sets. Then I’ll move on to the Beginner Gym Routine.