Day 82 (2008-12-29): Naming the hurt

When I think back on my most recent romantic relationship, it’s easy for me to hyperbolize how great we were together. It’s easy for me to romanticize the circumstances of how we met and fell in love. And it’s easy for me to fantasize that we would have lived happily ever after.
All of that leads [...]

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Day 81 (2008-12-28): Poison

I have so much in my life: A warm bed, food in my refrigerator, friends and family who love and respect me, clients who value me, a healthy body, a creative mind, a kind heart.
Why do I choose to focus on what I don’t have (a romantic relationship) and let that poison my experience of [...]

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Day 80 (2008-12-27): Cheating

Earlier today I was working through my Financial Alchemy workbook (by Morgana Rae), and I started reflecting on the small ways I steal — copying a CD, downloading music or movies, copying software, etc. Granted, I don’t do this often (not nearly as much as I used to like 5+ years ago), but I still [...]

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Day 78 (2008-12-25): The gift of self-esteem

Today is Christmas and I was given quite a gift…
I reached a level of self-esteem today (especially tonight) that was my lowest in almost two years. I think this focus on relationships, with people and more recently with money as a lover, have uncovered an opportunity for some more self-esteem work.
So I dug out my [...]

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Day 77 (2008-12-24): Shame

Another big insight I had around money came up when I was listening to another coach’s teleclass. She got to the end where she started talking about what she was selling and I reflected on my own experience with that part of my teleclasses. Although I’ve grown a lot in my confidence as a salesperson [...]

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Day 74 (2008-12-21): Reaffirming two intentions

I’ve become aware that I lost focus on two key intentions which I believe were directly responsible for the amazing romantic relationship I experienced in the spring. They were:

The intention to experience women as amazing.
The intention to cultivate authentic relationships with anyone I know and meet.

The first intention was about transcending the negative stories I [...]

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Day 73 (2008-12-20): Enjoying money

Today I asked Money what I could do to create a better relationship with her. She said that we never have any fun together and she wants me to enjoy her.
Wow, I thought. Of course. No wonder she stays away from me. Who would want to be in a relationship with someone who didn’t enjoy [...]

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Day 72 (2008-12-19): My money monster

Last night I had another dream revealing some of my feelings about money. Just like I did on Wednesday night, last night before I fell asleep, I directed my mind to teach me something about my relationship to money.
I dreamed that my father was driving drunk and I was screaming at him to stop and [...]

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Day 71 (2008-12-18): Afraid of my greatness

First, let me clean something up: Today was supposed to be the first day of Stage 3 in these 100 Days of Peace in Relationships. My intention was to have authentic interactions with 5 new people a day, and have at least one of those end with me asking for a woman’s phone number. I [...]

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Day 69 (2008-12-16): Narrow connections

I’ve slipped away from the connected feeling I described a few weeks ago. I still have glimpses of it, but the old paradigm has reasserted itself. Or to be more honest, I’ve chosen it.
I don’t know why. It seems I don’t want to, yet I am.
The solitude doesn’t help. Those are the times I feel [...]

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Day 61 (2008-12-08): Only days to live

I had a dream last night that I had cancer and only days to live. I think it’s important to note that it was cancer (and not a car crash or something) because it was inside of me, something I couldn’t see or feel.
So it became a question of what do I choose to believe. [...]

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Day 59 (2008-12-06): Feeling connected, Part 3

Tonight I was talking with some friends about this “feeling connected” perspective I’ve been living from, and I recognized another very cool connection that happened this morning.
Last week I decided that I want to collaborate with my clients. What I assumed that would mean is me approaching my favorite clients with some ideas about how [...]

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Day 58 (2008-12-05): Feeling connected, Part 2

This has been an amazing week full of synchronicities and insights coming out of my intention to feel connected.
Just a few minutes ago I was speaking to a friend on the telephone about his advice to another of his friends. As I listened, I chose to perceive our conversation from the perspective that we’re all [...]

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Day 55 (2008-12-02): Feeling connected

Today I did a bit of anonymous giving that I won’t go into detail on except to say that it came from a different place inside of me.
It was not personal. It came from a feeling of connection to everyone and everything. An idea popped into my head to give a gift. This same idea [...]

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Day 54 (2008-12-01): 40%

There’s a 40% chance that the woman I most recently dated and I will end up in a long-term romantic relationship. How did I calculate that number?
First, I chose her. The way that she came into my life after I’d set clear intentions around meeting someone just like her convinces me that it was a [...]

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