Today I’m feeling a whole bunch of “I don’t wanna!”
I had two very productive days. Do I think I “deserve” a break? Is that it? Not entirely, there’s something else.
I have a deadline today in that I will be headed out for the evening at about 4:30 PM or so. I’m feeling pressure from that deadline, and a skepticism that I’ll get done all I want to do before then. So why bother?
And it’s more complicated than that because these are not tasks I “want” to do, but tasks I feel I “should” do.
So all three of these factors — “deserving” a break, not believing I can accomplish my tasks, and feeling the “should” judgment about them — combine into a big, fat “I DON’T WANNA!”
Okay, so I’m going to do some physical exercise for about 10 minutes and see how my state of being changes…
Well, I have more energy! My attitude is a bit better. I’m psyched up for getting some stuff done. But I’m not too attracted to the idea of sitting at my computer. I rather go outside and dig some holes or move some heavy boxes.
I am aware that the “I don’t wanna!” feeling has dissipated. So what I’ll do is whenever I feel that feeling, I’ll drop to the floor and do some push-ups. And I’ll report back on how well that works.
Update: Additional pushups weren’t necessary. It was as if the awareness was enough to carry me over any resistance later in the day. But the pushups do help at the beginning of the day, so instead of simply doing them each morning, I will do them each morning intentionally to boost my productivity.