Day 60 (2008-05-04): Excitement & fear

Wow, roller coasters are a lot different than they were the last time I rode them (about 15 years ago). Higher and faster, yes. But also the many different ways you are seated. The Superman coaster, for example, puts you on your stomach like you’re flying.

It was interesting to bring a present-focused perspective to the experience. I noticed there were two distinct aspects to the roller coaster experience that created a feeling of excitement for me.

One was my relationship to fear. It worked like this: The “oh my god I’m going to die” feeling would build and climax, followed by a release and a “I’m still alive” kind of joy. The first coaster ride of the day was this kind of experience for me. And I had mixed feelings about it. It left me wondering if I even wanted to go on any others.

But I went on a second one with the intention to let go of the fear. And I had a second kind of experience.

I surrendered to the fear and it dissolved (mostly). And what I experienced was the excitement from the physical experience. The speed, the airtime (the technical term for that weightless feeling you get from a quick up and down — I prefer to call it “floaty action”), the turns and loops. This physical excitement was less acute than the fear-based version. But much more sustainable, in my opinion. I think this kind of experience would have let me notice and appreciate the nuances of a given coaster had I gone on any of them more than once, instead of each ride just being another blur of terror.

I remember hearing or reading somewhere that fear and excitement are very similar physiologically. And the main difference between the two is the mental interpretation or spin we give the experience. Yesterday’s great Great Adventure adventure showed me how easy it is to surrender to a scary situation and appreciate it instead. The next step is for me to apply this lesson to the more common fears that I experience day to day.