Source of inspiration: The Mastery of Love by don Miguel Ruiz
This morning I awoke two hours before my alarm was set. My mind began racing immediately, filling me with anxiety. After 30 minutes of trying to go back to sleep, I finally got up.
Around mid-day, I was reading Ruiz’s The Mastery of Love. Ruiz was describing the difference between the Track of Fear and the Track of Love. I could see how fear runs my life to a much greater extent than love does. And then the muse spoke to me and I wrote myself a note: “Say ‘I love you.’”
How can I possibly follow the Track of Love when I often can’t even speak those three words? I’m inhibited by fear. I’m comfortable saying that to a girlfriend, or to my mom, or my sister, or my nieces (note that these are all women).
But with other women friends, I’m afraid the words might be interpreted as romantic love — that I’m crossing a line.
And with men, well, you just don’t say that to another man. It’s not cool. And let’s be honest, “not cool” is just code for “it means you’re gay.”
The rational part of me knows this is silly. And I have said “I love you” to both male and female friends. But even when I did, there was an underlying fear.
So I’m going to prioritize this practice over the many others I’ve discussed in these 100 Days of Peace. I will say “I love you” to people that I feel love for. I will start with long-time friends who I know I love. Each time I see them, I will make a point to say “I love you” at least once during that encounter. My thinking is that the more I get comfortable expressing it, the more I will get comfortable feeling it. And from there I can expand to more spontaneous expressions of love.
And there’s another funny part to this story — some feedback from the universe on me choosing the Track of Love:
When I was reading, I fell asleep for a few minutes. I woke up and Maintenance was working on the apartment next door. They had the radio on and I could hear it through the wall. The song that began a second after I awoke was “Silly Love Songs” by Paul McCartney. Remember the chorus? “I love you.”
Update: I told 3 male friends and 1 female friend that I loved them. Wasn’t so scary.