Day 51 (2008-04-25): Stop and listen

Source of inspiration: Conversation with a friend

Yesterday I was talking to a friend who is a financial coach and I asked her how she recognizes when people haven’t accepted responsibility for their financial situation. She said there were usually two things she looked for:

1. They blame people or circumstances
2. They are always doing — do, do, do

Both of these are focused outside of themselves.

I immediately saw a parallel in #2 between what she was describing and how I approach my business. Analogous to the person whose finances aren’t where they want them to be, my business is not where I want it to be. And my approach to change that has been almost non-stop doing. Let me redesign my business, let me add another product, let me market myself in some innovative way.

And I have not seen a correlation between more doing and more results. So I asked her what she recommends to her clients as a first step.

She said that the first step is for the person to stop. Stop.

“Then what?” I asked. She laughed because my question was about doing again, which is exactly what she was telling me to stop.  

When I stop, and then listen, the next action will become clear. As I tell my clients, create space and invite (but do not require) an answer to come. Stopping, that is the challenge for me.

What does stopping look like for me? I think there’s an element of non-attachment. Ideas can still come, but I will release the need to act on them. I can note them in a book if I like, but I will let go of the fear energy that says “If you don’t act on this now, you’re screwed.”

The funny thing is, in the 24 hours since the conversation with my friend, ideas have been flooding my mind. My instinct is to act on them immediately (or more honestly, to procrastinate and then feel guilty about not acting on them). But I’ve been good at letting go and holding the space. I’ll play with keeping the ideas in a notebook and see how that affects the space I’m creating.